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| Poor Goblin is being held hostage! |
Several shoppers, including me, stood looking out the windows of the local supermarket. We discussed the concept of being hostages by our own lack of willpower. Yikes! It's true.
There is a person who hangs around the shopping center from before daylight until after sundown. The individual's memory is not good. The person's been known to approach others several times within an hour to ask for a ride, money, cigarettes, and work. I gave up some food one day and within 15 minutes was chased down and asked for food again.
The result is that once the person's spotted, people feel as though they are hostages because they don't dare go outside to be a target. Thus, we waited and mentioned that we feel guilty for avoiding the person. It's hard to say "no" even when we aren't able to comply with the request.
The person isn't threatening and doesn't get upset when told "no". This individual told me Social Security pays about $850 every month. Rent is free, but cigarettes take up a lot of the money. The person sees nothing wrong with asking for money to support the habit.
Is there an easier way to say no without feeling guilty? Am I subject to hiding out in the various stores at the center until the coast is clear? How would you handle this situation?
That's crappy that the person puts so many people into that awkward position. I would feel bad saying no, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the response. I'm feel so bad, but am not always able to help.
DeleteIt sounds like this person probably has a mental disorder. I would help sometimes, because this person probably DOES need it, but I would definitely be in duck and cover mode for a lot of sightings.
ReplyDeleteYou make me feel better. It seems odd to have to avoid someone that's basically nice, but a pest.
DeletePerhaps they are having some sort of problem, memory, sickness, dementia, something. Rather than hiding has anyone ever thought to try and call someone to get the man help?
ReplyDeleteThat is a good question. He lives with family, and perhaps they're the ones urging him to get lost for hours on end. I wouldn't want to be responsible for having someone stuck into confinement unless it was someone bad.
DeleteIt stinks that you are put in this position. I would just tell them no and keep walking to my car. Catherine S
ReplyDeleteThat might work. Thanks for the suggestion.
DeleteIt stinks that you are put in this position. I would just tell them no and keep walking to my car. Catherine S
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cat!
DeleteI feel guilty always too, but you never know if the money is going to really go for food or to support a habit.
ReplyDeleteHe's very upfront, when questioned,that it will go to cigarettes or slot machines. Thank you for the response.
DeleteI feel guilty too. It seems that the person is suffering from mental disorder.
ReplyDeleteI agree. It's good there's never any anger or aggression, which seems to be the norm in cities. I guess there's an advantage to living in the boondocks. Thanks for visiting my blog.
DeleteEspecially since they already told you the money was going to buy cigarettes, I don't think you should have to feel bad saying no and continuing on your way. If you do feel like doing something, maybe buy them a box of Nicorette. It seems like kicking smoking would play a big part in improving their budget.
ReplyDeleteThe Nicorette is a good suggestion. Thanks for the idea. I'm not sure he realizes people would offer him some work around the house or yard if he wasn't such an avid smoker.
DeleteIt's a hard situation. $850 a month probably doesn't cover all of his needs, but it doesn't sound like asking patrons of the shopping center is filling in the excess. But you shouldn't feel like a hostage when you are not able to help.
ReplyDeleteI feel worse when it's a family and they need the money for something they really need. Cigarettes in that situation... I wouldn't feel bad saying no.
ReplyDeleteWhat a tough situation to be in. I'm not sure how I would react either, so hard when there's a mental illness involved
ReplyDeleteI am not sure what I would do but I know I would feel really bad saying no though.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know that feeling - it's so awkward. I say no and explain that I'm just getting by too, but it makes you feel bad. It does sound like he has some mental disorder, but with the services being cut back and back there is little help for even those with major disorders. I think you are doing the best you can. It's terrible to feel like a hostage in your own town. Hang in there, Lori.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to learn the power of saying no instead of running away from it. I know you think it would be easier to just avoid it, but why telling him the reason of your strong NO and maybe he will learn his lesson to stop asking you and other people to support his nasty habit. I get it just avoid it, but why do extra stuff just because someone is being obnoxious about his nasty habit?
ReplyDelete